Posts Tagged ‘ ideal body ’

The body is the self, and contrary to what many of us believe, you can never quite have high self esteem (and consequently happiness) unless you learn to love your body.

Granted, learning to love your body is not very easy. We have been conditioned to feel that our bodies are not ‘ideal’ – and that there is an ‘ideal’ body that we would rather be in. Many of the beliefs which cause us not to love our bodies are very deeply ingrained in our psyches, and some can actually be traced back to our childhood, starting with what our parents told us about our bodies (and the whole concept of the role of the body in the self), how our friends at school treated us with respect to our bodies (kids can be especially unkind to others who are different in some way) as well as the impact of the media on our body image.

The effect of the media on our respect self-images is particularly worth of special note. The media, perhaps influenced by the fashion and weight loss industries has continually perpetuated the view that the ideal body looks a certain way, and anyone who doesn’t reach this ideal is implicitly said to be ugly. Of course this is a misguided notion, seeing that we are all meant to be different, that it takes all sorts to make an interesting world, and that if we all looked alike (ultra-thin and ultra ‘cute’) the world would be a very boring place indeed. In such a world, for instance, you would have no one to compare yourself to, which is a big killjoy seeing that we derive a considerable portion of our happiness from comparing ourselves with others and feeling that when all is said and done, we are still better off than someone else (even if that happens to be a delusion).

Therefore the way to learn to love your body is to dispel all these fallacious notions that make you not to love your body in the first place. Notions like the one that there is an ‘ideal’ body that everyone ought to have can only lead to unhappiness as all people will never be same, and it is not desirable anyway. Notions like the one that others will love you when you have a better body might have a grain of truth in them, but in most cases, whatever body you happen to have, people only love you as much as you love yourself and as much as they recorn that you can be of some help to them.

Another way to love yourself is to celebrate you uniqueness. You were made the way you are for a reason, and you can always turn the way you are to your advantage, if only you think about it hard enough. Unknown to many ‘huge’ people who are forever seeking smaller body forms, for instance, is the fact that a huge body represents ‘a strong presence’ and in many forums, there are many people who will respect you and love simply on account of your huge. (Of course, if you are huge in an unhealthy way, you should consider losing the extra weight – but from a point of self love).

There is a school of thought that argues that the ‘body is the self.’ What this means is that if you are uncomfortable with your body, then it is extremely hard for you to have high self esteem or to be happy.

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to believe that we have other ‘selfs’ beyond our bodies, and that we can be happy even if we are uncomfortable with our bodies, which in many cases turns out to be self-delusion because experience has shown that many self-esteem issues which rob many people of their happiness can be traced back to the people not being happy with the bodies they have.

Meanwhile the media continues to bombard us with extremely exaggerated images of what the ideal body should be like. In the case of ladies, we are shown, the ideal body is ultra-thin, with just small curves at the right places. In the case of men, we are shown the ideal body as being bully and muscular – yet not fat. People who don’t conform to this image are portrayed as ugly, and as people whose bodies could do with a bit of fixing here and there, ‘knocking into shape’ in a way of speaking.

Unfortunately, our bodies are not the same. Anybody who has your best interests at heart will tell you that you are unique, and attempting to be an imitation of anybody else will only result in a very poor replica. And while many people assume that this wise saying applies only in things to do with mannerisms, the truth of the matter is that it applies in the physical aspects too – and trying to forge your body to be like the body of such and such a model you saw on the TV is only likely to leave you broken. The people whose bodies are shown as perfect – the ultra-thin models and their ilk – represent only one extreme of the spectrum into which body types fall.

Another truth is that you should love the body you have – and the way to do this is to dispel the notion that there is an ideal body out there you should be living in. The nature of the human spirit is that it is never quite satisfied – which is why the people with the thin bodies so many of us admire wish they had more padding on their body, even as the people with the ‘padding’ wish they were thinner.

In getting to love the body you have, you also need to give up the notion that getting the ‘ideal’ body will solve all your issues, as it simply won’t. It is naïve to imagine that the reason you don’t have many friends is your body, and that having the ideal body will get people flocking to you, as you are bound to get frustrated even if you happen to get the ideal body, whatever that is.

Even if your body genuinely requires fixing – like if you are dangerously overweight – you should first love the body you already love, and then pursue weight loss from a point of loving yourself, as a simple self improvement project.